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A FEELING OF PEACE

Daren and I had been praying for boldness for months. God answered our prayer by giving us Silas.

The story of Silas starts several months before I was even pregnant with him.  I was sitting in our living room, talking to Daren while he ironed his work clothes for the next day.   This was our nightly routine: he irons, I watch him iron, we talk about our day or watch TV, depending on how exhausted we are (usually the latter wins out).

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HE THEN TOLD ME THAT HE HAD BEEN EXPERIENCING A GREAT PEACE ABOUT DEATH.

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He stopped ironing for a moment, becoming very introspective.  He then told me that he had been experiencing a great peace about death.  He explained that he didn’t know who was going to die, but that he felt very peaceful about it.  I was pretty shocked by this statement.  You see, as long as I have known Daren, he has talked about his fear of death.  Not his own death, but the death of people that he loves.

Of course, at the time we both felt confident that it would be someone older that we would lose. It would be someone who had lived a long, full life.  Surely, it would be someone who is ready, even hoping, to slip into eternity.  It never occurred to us that it would be a baby that would experience this death, let alone, our baby.  There are days when I wish I could be that naïve again.  However, the majority of days, I am truly grateful to my God for letting me experience the reality of this broken world in such an intimate way.  It was in that brokenness that His unwavering goodness and inexplicable peace engulfed me.